Active listening is a learned skill. If you were raised by parents who understood
and could communicate what active listening is and how to do it, you’re ahead of
the curve. Many of however, and not to the fault of our parents, were not raised
with active listening as an essential component of being human. So, what does it
mean to be an active listener, and what are the benefits of learning and applying
this skill?
Active listening is a communication technique that involves focusing on what
someone is saying and responding in a way that shows you understand.
Examples of this include but are not limited to avoiding interruptions, asking
questions, non-verbal cues and paraphrasing what the speaker said in your
response. The influence of our own thoughts and emotions often hinder our
ability to be fully present during a given conversation, but it’s important to
consciously provide space for our interactions. It’s all too easy to be scrolling
social media or answer an email while on the phone with someone or to latch on
to a particular moment in the conversation and ruminate about it, but it’s taking
us away from meaningful connection.
When we actively listen to one another, we have meaningful conversations, build
trust, and can more easily resolve conflict because we understand where the
other person is coming from. It’s important to remember that many of us were not
brought up with active listening as a skill to master, so it’s going to take some
practice and may even be difficult at first. Start with eliminating distraction by
keeping your phone in your pocket the next time it rings while you’re having a
discussion. When you have a friend or coworker reach out acknowledging there
is a problem to be resolved or they need your advice, consider carving our
dedicated time for that interaction and prepare yourself to be present. Over time,
these individual skills will become second nature and work together towards
becoming a better active listener.
Shelly Rager is a Gordon International certified instructor teaching Leadership
Effectiveness Training in Prescott, Arizona and surrounding areas. Contact Shelly at 909.772.4132 or via email atpeakcommunicationnow@gmail.com to schedule a L.E.T workshop
today!